THE WAY THE COOKIE CRUMBLES
okk..guess i"m blogging wit alarming regularity
must b to do with d fact tht my bday is next week...9th of july n me being a true blue cancerian im getting intensely crabby
or just mebbe..it has to do with d fact tht im throwing a party for a bunch of frnds on wednesday n wednesday is a skool day..
okkkk, so whts d hitch??
d hubbz FORGOT its this wednesday n he s travelling tuesday n wednesday n he wont b in town
big deal or no big deal 0-especially since we all know airline tickets cost a bomb ;far more than wht a party cost n  cancellations wud only mean a waste of a lot of money   n we r all grown up..absence shud hardly b a cause for concern...and its not like im gonna miss him at all!!
surprisingly my only concern is how ill i b at my party n still go fetch my kid frm skool to get her in time for her ballet classes...
life is a bitch!!

it sure is gonna b one helluva bday !!!yayayayay

MY STINGY PENNY PINCHING HUSBAND
ive got a husband
he s as stingy as can b
he thinks abut his own happiness
and spends all an himself barring me

he wants new clothes from fancy stores
he bugs me all night wit his snores
i hafta harp many times four
cud i plz have a cheap lil dress thts it-not more!@!

if i want a driver coz im driving all d time
he says cabs will b better
letz not discuss it further n waste r time

the miser,the loser,the worm
wants a cell phone brand new
n when i want 1 too
he says  use mine babes...
its working fine.. atleast most of d time!!

im stuck to him n his ways(unfortunately)
n  generous husbands r far n few
i need a replacement fast
n now just abut anybody will  do!!!


ps:a true life incident n any resemblance to any person living or dead or otherwise is purely intentional !!

WHAT IS IT WITH MEN??

WHAT IS IT WITH MEN WHO ARE 
HUSBANDS??

WHAT IS IT WITH HUSBANDS WHO ARE  DADS???

THEY SUCK IN EACH AND EVERY CATEGORY ALL THE TIME

THE ONLY THING MY HUSBAND WANTS TO DO IS SIT IN FRONT OF THE
TELEVISION MUNCHING NUTS.DOESN’T LIFT HIS FINGER OR HIS BUM..GOD KNOWS HE NEEDS
TO DO MUCH  MUCH MORE IF HE WANTS TO GET
RID OF HIS POOCHY PAUNCH N HIS PERPETUAL STATE OF EXHAUSTION!!

NO WALKS,NO WEIGHTS, NOT EVEN THE STAIRS..NO SIR, NOT FOR
HIM!

AM I TOO MUCH OF A CONTROL FREAK?

TOO MUCH OF A DISCIPLINARIAN??

TOO MUCH OF A NAG???

ENGLISH IS A CRAZY LANGUAGE

Let's
face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor
ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins
weren't invented in England or French fries in France…
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find
that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea
pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And
why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't
the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two
meese? One index, two indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make
amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get
rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If
teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the
English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally
insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a
recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and
feet that smell?

How
can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a
wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you
fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by
going on.

English
was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity
of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why,
when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out,
they are invisible.

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."

It's
easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the
list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a
meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the
officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP
a report?

We
call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the
silver; warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the
house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word
has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets,
work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing
but to be dressed UP is special.

And
this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped
UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We
seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the
proper uses of UP ; look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized
dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to
about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building
UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your
time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun
comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .

We could go on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so... Time to shut UP!

BENEFITS OF BEING A WOMAN

• We got off the Titanic first.
• We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
• We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
• We can cry and get off speeding fines.
• We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
• Taxis stop for us.
• We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
• Free drinks, free dinners, free movies (you get the point).
• New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
• We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
• If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
• We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.
• We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
• If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
• We have the ability to dress ourselves.
• We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
• If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
• There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
• We'll never regret piercing our ears.
• We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
• We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonder bra.

SOMETIMES WHEN WE TOUCH

Rod Stewart



You ask me if I love you

And I choke on my reply

Id rather hurt you honestly

Than mislead you with a lie

And who am I to judge you

In what you say or do

Im only just beginning

To see the real you



And sometimes when we touch

The honestys too much

And I have to close my eyes and hide

I want to hold you till I die

Till we both break down and cry

I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides



Romance and all its strategy

Leaves me battling with my pride

But through all the insecurity

Some tenderness survives

Im just another writer

Still trapped within my truth

A hesitant prize fighter

Still trapped within my youth



And sometimes when we touch

The honestys too much

And I have to close my eyes and hide

I want to hold you till I die

Till we both break down and cry

I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides



At times Id like to break you

And drive you to your knees

At times Id like to break through

And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you

And I know how hard you try

I watched while love commands you

And Ive watched love pass you by

At times I think were drifters

Still searching for a friend

A brother or a sister

But then the passion flares again



And sometimes when we touch

The honestys too much

And I have to close my eyes and hide

I want to hold ya till I die

Till we both break down and cry

I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

Subsides



DEDICATED TO MY HUBBZZ!!!

HAPPILY MARRIED???!!???



7 YEARS OF MARRIAGE N STILL HAVEN'T GOT DA HUBBZ FIGURED OUT!!!

WE GOT MARRIED EARLY..NOW I'VE BEGUN TO WONDER WAS IT EVER LOVE????

WEREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO GROW UP TOGETHER WITH EACH OTHER????

LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GROWN APART WITH  NO COMMON TASTE,NO COMMON INTEREST,NO COMMON HOBBIES, NO COMMON FRIENDS........

WE DON'T READ DA SAME BOOKS,DON'T ENJOY THE SAME MOVIES,DON'T ENJOY THE
SAME FOOD,DON'T HAVE THE SAME APPROACH TO PARENTING,DON'T HAVE THE SAME
APPROACH TO LIFE........



I WANT MORE, MUCH MORE FROM LIFE; MORE FROM RELATIONSHIPS WHEREAS THE
HUBBZ IS  HAPPY WITH WHAT HE HAS  GOT.. HE LOVES HIS
PARENTS,LOVES HIS GOD,LOVES HIS WORK,LOVES HIS KID N LOVES ME TOO( IN A
DOWNRITE BORING WAY) .......BUT WHAT HE LOVES DOING THE BEST IS
"NOTHING".............

I'VE RESIGNED MYSELF TO THIS RELATIONSHIP,I'VE GIVEN UP TRYING TO INFUSE SOME ENTHUSIASM,SOME FUN ,SOME LAUGHTER......



WE DO NOTHING TO MAKE IT RIGHT OR MAKE IT UPTO EACH OTHER

AND NOW DA INLAWS ARE ANOTHER ADDED COMPLICATION...

ITS STRANGE HOW EVERYONE AROUND US PERCEIVES US TO BE HAPPILY MARRIED!!!



STRANGE BUT TRUE

TAKE CARE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

YEA I'M 30 TODAY..30 GOIN ON 20
AND I'VE GIFTED MESELF A RETURN TICKET TO MOMMIES N BACK;
TAKEN TIME OFF FROM BEING A WIFE,A MOM- THE KID HANDED TO HER NANI N NANA WIT INSTRUCTIONS HANDLE WIT CARE!!
I AM GONNA READ,GONNA SWING UP HIGH N GONNA SHOP ..NO SCHOOL, NO CLASSES,NO HUBBZ, NO COOKING ,NO INLAWS......
TURNING 30 HAS ITS OWN ADVANTAGES AFTER ALL!!@!!

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
JUST DON'T WANNA GET PAST THE I,ME,MYSELF...........