BENEFITS OF BEING A WOMAN

• We got off the Titanic first.
• We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
• We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
• We can cry and get off speeding fines.
• We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
• Taxis stop for us.
• We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
• Free drinks, free dinners, free movies (you get the point).
• New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
• We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
• If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
• We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.
• We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
• If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
• We have the ability to dress ourselves.
• We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
• If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
• There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
• We'll never regret piercing our ears.
• We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
• We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonder bra.